There was then a senator who
was known as Max Baucus. He
lived in the wicked city that was
Washington, DC.  Baucus was
not special in any way, and yet
he still loved and worshiped his
Lord Obama.  

Then one day, as Baucus was
walking to the Senate,  he saw
a pillar of light and heard the
voice of Lord Obama.  "Max
Baucus!  I am Obama, your
Lord and Master.  I have
chosen you to deliver unto me
10 Republican votes in the
Senate for MY health care bill,
so I may claim it is truly bi-
partisan."

"Oh, my Lord Obama!  I shall
obey and seek 10 Republican
votes!"  Thus, Baucus went to
the Senate and sought out 10
Republican votes for his Lord
Obama's health care bill.  But,
alas, he could not find any.

The next day, Lord Obama
spoke once again to Baucus.
"Baucus, my servant, have
you done as I ordered?"

"Oh my Lord Obama.  I have
failed you!", replied Baucus.
"I was unable to get 10
Republicans to support Your
health care bill."  With this
news, dark clouds appeared
and a rumble of thunder was
heard.  Baucus feared Lord
Obama and offered to find
five Republicans votes.

"Very well,", boomed Lord
Obama.  "Go forth and bring
me five Republican votes to
support MY health care bill
so I may claim a bipartisan
victory."  And with his new
orders, Baucus set forth and
went to the Senate to obtain
five Republican votes.  But,
alas, he could not.

The next day, as Baucus again
walked to the Senate, Lord
Obama spoke unto him.  

"Baucus, I am your Lord
Obama.  Have you done as
I command and obtained for
ME five Republican votes?"

"Oh my Lord Obama," did
answer Baucus, "I regret that
I have failed You again.  I was
unable to convince five Repub-
licans to vote for YOUR health
care bill."  And with that news,
the sky once again grew dark
and cloudy.  A loud clap of
thunder roared as Lord Obama
spoke.

"Baucus, you have failed me.
Let it be known that MY wrath
shall be felt and I shall turn
you into a pillar of salt!"

"Oh my Lord Obama!  Please
forgive your humble servant!",
begged Baucus.  "What if I
were able to obtain two votes
from Republicans for Your
health care bill?"

"Very well, Baucus.  You have
been a good and obedient
servant and I shall refrain MY
wrath unto you if you can bring
unto me two Republican votes
so I may claim a bipartisan
victory."  Baucus thanked his
Lord Obama, and went forth
to the Senate to seek two
Republican votes.  But, alas,
he could find none.

The next day, as Baucus again
walked to the Senate, he was
afraid of what would happen.
A pillar of bright light again
appeared and Lord Obama
spoke unto Baucus.

"Baucus, I am your Lord
Obama.  Have you obtained
two Republican votes for MY
health care bill so I may claim
a bipartisan victory?"

"Oh my Lord Obama, I regret
to say that I have failed you.
I was unable to find two Repub-
licans who will support Your
health care bill.  Please forgive
me, my Lord Obama!"  Once
again the sky grew dark and
great clouds appeared over
the head of Baucus.  A loud
clap of thunder knocked him
to the ground.  The earth shook
as Lord Obama spoke.

"BAUCUS!!!  You have failed
me yet again!  For this I shall
turn you into a pillar of salt as
a sign of MY wrath!"

"Oh my Lord Obama, please,
please let me try again! ",
begged Baucus.  "What if I
were to bring you one Repub-
lican vote to support Your
health care bill?  Would that
be enough for you to claim a
bipartisan victory?"

There was a long pause as
Baucus cowered on the ground
awaiting the answer.  Then,
Lord Obama spoke.  "Very
well, my faithful servant.  If
you can deliver unto me one
Republican vote I shall not
turn you into a pillar of salt."

"Oh thank You, Lord Obama!"
exclaimed Baucus.  "You are
truly my Lord of hope and
change!"  And with that, the sky
cleared and Baucus rose and
continued on his way to the
Senate.  There, he did find one
Republican, if one could call
her that.  Olympia Snowe then
promised Baucus that she was
willing to support Lord Obama's
health care bill.  But she had
some conditions to her support.
She would only vote for it in
the committee and would not
promise yet to support it on the
floor of the Senate as a whole.
She was also concerned over
the costs and the means to
pay for the program.

On the way home, Baucus
felt pleased that he finally had
good news.  The pillar of light
returned and Lord Obama
spoke unto him.

"I am your Lord Obama!  Have
you done as I commanded and
obtained for me one Republi-
can vote so I may claim a bi-
partisan victory?"

"Yes, my Lord Obama!,", did
answer Baucus.  "I have one
Republican vote for Your
health care bill."

"Baucus, that is very good!  I
am pleased.  Who's vote have
you delivered unto me?"

"It was Olympia Snowe's vote,
my Lord Obama.  She shall
support Your health care bill in
committee.  However, she did
not promise to support it on the
floor of the Senate as of yet.
She cited concerns over it's
cost and how it shall be paid
for?"

With this news, Lord Obama
gave out a long, loud sigh.
"Baucus, I shall keep our
covenant and not turn you
into a pillar of salt.  Now go
forth and appear on MY
faithful servant, Chris Matthews
TV show and proclaim that
I, Lord Obama, have achieved
a great, bipartisan victory!"

And Baucus obeyed and did
as so ordered by his Lord
Obama.  And the world was
told how great a victory Lord
Obama achieved with truly
bipartisan support for HIS
health care bill.

The End.  LOL!